This isn't normally something I'd write a journal about. But it's got me a little down in the dumps today, and maybe writing it out will help.
Yesterday, I heard that a Jr High/middle school student(whichever you prefer, either 7th or 8th grade) died. This was a school that I went to a few years ago, but I'm almost done with High School now. Anyway, some kids in my orchestra asked the teacher what happened, and that's all she knew. She basically told us that she's supposed to watch out for kids who might be depressed. A couple girls said that they heard this student committed suicide by hanging herself in her room.
That's terrible. It made me sad to hear it. When I got home later that day, I thought about bringing it up to my mom. Not sure why, I just thought about it. But I kept forgetting to.
Today, my mom told me a girl I knew had died recently. I didn't know her well. She was the sister of a friend of mine. We weren't really close friends, but this friend has some mental disabilities and she's really cute and nice. She graduated last year and I haven't really seen much of her lately. Her younger sister goes to my school now. Don't know her very well either. Anyway, their youngest sister (there's four girls in their family; my friend being the oldest, the sister in my school being the 2nd, a 3rd one, then the youngest), died. My mom goes on to tell me that she hung herself and I connected the dots.
This girl is just a little older than my younger sister, Alexis. It's difficult to imagine a girl, who I didn't realize was having problems like that, would kill herself. It makes me sick to imagine being the one to discover that this happened. Even more so to imagine what it would be like to find my own sister did something like that to herself. I've never had something like this happen in my life before. People I know have died, but never like this.
I didn't know this girl well, I hardly ever saw her. It's terrible to hear about people who commit suicide, even more so when you know the person, and even more when you were close to her, and I can't even imagine what it's like for her family. I don't know what was going on in her life, maybe she was bullied, maybe she didn't have people she felt were her friends, I just don't know. But I can't help but wonder if things might have been different if someone had known she was willing to do this to herself. If she had a friend who could have helped her or encouraged her in some way. She's in my ward, never comes to church or to the activities though, but I wonder if she should have tried to reach out to her more. Invite her to come and give her a ride so she could. Make her feel welcome with us. I don't know if that would have helped, but at least we would have tried.
What I really don't understand, is why people feel their life is so hard that they have to give up. In giving up, they put their families in a difficult situation. I, personally, would never want to do that to my family. Maybe they think it doesn't effect anyone else if they give up, but it effects so many people. I hardly knew her and it effects me.
If you ever have suicidal thoughts, please do your best to ignore them. Suicide really hurts a lot of people, even if you don't realize it. And if you suspect someone of being depressed or suicidal, please try to help them in any way you can. And realize that some of the most depressed people act the happiest and try to make other people happy(like Robin Williams, for example). So don't think that supposedly happy people can't be depressed.
Now that I've got that off my chest... Have a good day.
Listening to: The Voice Inside My Head
Reading: Your Thoughts
Watching: Your Soul
Playing: With Your Minds